'Our' car

Lunchtime, my X suddenly appeared from thin air. I was speechless. My heart rate shot up to 180/minute. I felt that my fragile heart wanted to pop out from my chest. Oh the pain again.

He looked calm or tried to look calm. Men! He asked something about 'his' stuff in 'my' car, he said and all I could hear was my crying heart. Yes, am still in pain and seeing him right infront my eyes was beyond words and tears.

Suddenly I realised he was waiting for my reply. I asked what stuff? His short reply was: "'My' stuff, just stuff." I tried to look into his eyes, trying to search for something but he looked at the other way. I wasnt sure what I was looking for in his eyes.

I walked past him and went straight to 'my' car. On the way, it occured to me that he said 'my' car when it used to be 'our' car when we were a couple. Technically its my car because I pay for it, down to the last cent. When we were a couple, 'we' always refer it to 'our' car and now we are not, its suddenly is 'my' car.

Unlocking the car, he made his way to the other side and quickly slid in to the front passenger's seat. He looked so natural in 'my' car; fiddling his fingers through the CDs. I didn't say a word. I was still standing outside 'my' car while looking at his face.

Honestly I felt like slapping him for being so brave to come up to me and demanding to take 'his' stuff from 'my' car. But, I reminded myself to keep my cool and that I am a career woman, bla bla bla...I should have just throw 'his' stuff away down to the monsoon drain earlier but it never occur to me that he would be coming back to take his stuff just like that, so bold.

After what seem like an eternity, he asked if I knew where's 'his' fav CD. I knew which CD he was refering to but I have no idea where it is. The CD is a collection of burned songs, the time when he was courting me. Actually those songs in the CD are our favs. We share the same genre of music and in fact, the songs brought us together. Now I have no idea why he wanted that CD so much if 'I' dont mean anything to him at this very second.

"Dunno," I replied. I could see he was getting restless. He paused for awhile and then just slammed the door, leaving me behind. I said to myself "WTF!" Oh, better control myself.

I went inside 'my' car and tried to relax and saw him walking towards 'his' car; well, his father's car and got inside and drove away quickly. I then looked inside 'my' car, opened the CD drawer and realised how much space I have now to put 'my' own CDs. I know, there's always a positive side of things. God, please give me strength.