A

I am waiting for 'A' to pick me up. He is late, very unusual of him. He is supposed to be here an hour ago. I sent him a text half an hour ago and he has not replied. His handphone is on and I have called him a number of times. Maybe I should stop doing that.

I wonder what on earth could happen to him. The last text I received from his was at six this evening and he said he look forward to meet up. It really is strange. Maybe I should calm myself down and stop being paranoid. I do have the bad side of me. I have negative thoughts. Maybe he is playing around? Nah, I dont want to think that he stood me up. It cant be he is with someone else or going somewhere as he has said for the past few days that he wanted to see me tonight. Oh what could have gone wrong? Where is he?

I cant help myself. Of course I am anxious. This is not like him. He is a gentleman. He would not have a heart to hurt me. He is too nice for that. He won't even hurt an ant. I remember when we were out last week, a cat suddenly came out from one side of the road. He pressed the brake real hard and turned to me to ask if I was okay. I said yes, just a bit shock. When he was sure that I was alright, he went out to check the cat. The cat was nowhere to be seen. He sighed. He must have spent the next ten minutes or so looking for the cat. I went out of the car and looked at him. He was really concern about the cat. I told him maybe the cat was safe else it will be lying on the road. He agreed but still looked around even when he went inside the car.

Let me recall the first time I met 'A'. That was about five years ago. I was already with 'X'. We met through a mutual friend, 'B'. I met 'B' at a gym and next thing I knew, 'B' and I became good friends. One weekend, 'B' asked if I would like to meet one of his friends. I agreed because I thought there was nothing wrong with meeting new people. 'X' has different view on this especially if this new person is a man. I think its really unfair as I know that he met and made friends with girls all the time and nope, I wasn't jealous with that. No problem for me.

So, I eventually met 'A' at Chills one Friday evening after a work-out with 'B'. The first time our eyes met, I was so attracted to him. He has this deep-set eyes that go right through your heart. His gaze was intense that I felt uncomfortable after awhile. 'A' realised that and stopped looking at me and talked to 'B', smiling. The meeting was brief and we exchanged numbers. I didnt know why I gave him my numbers.

A week later he called me and asked stuff. I knew he wanted to say something but he never did. That was the only call he made. Next thing I knew from 'B', he was seeing someone else. Only a year later 'B' told me that 'A' backed off after he knew I was with 'X'. I didnt feel anything at that time because I was still very much in love with 'X'.

Now? Now I am not sure. I mean right at this very second. I really like him and I know 'A' like me too. I wanted to ask him whatever happen to him during the past couple of years but I dare not ask. Maybe I don't want to know. I will let him open up his mouth and tell me rather than me asking him.

And talking about time, if I dont hear anything from him in the next hour, I am going to bed. Oh I don't feel good. Something's happening. I wish I know.